


The Push

by vally8



Category: Figure Skating RPF, tessa and scott, virtue/moir
Genre: F/M, figure skating rpf - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5348381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vally8/pseuds/vally8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rough attempt at an RPF set on the last night of Tessa and Scott's shows at The EX back in September. What starts as a casual dinner at Mike Babcock's home, dramatically changes things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Simple Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive the formatting.

After dinner their host patted Scott on the back and said, 

“I wanna steal this guy away to show him the new masonry on the patio. I’m guessing you ladies have enough to keep yourselves occupied?” Babsy grinned.

His wife said, “Finally! I’ve been waiting for a chance for Tessa to show me her new line. See ya, boys.”

With that Scott and his mentor meandered outside. He was immediately drawn to the beautiful stonework and excitedly commented on how pristine of a job it was. Out of nowhere, a mighty hand flew and hit the backside of Scott’s head. 

“Babsy! What was that for-?”

Mike quietly cut him off, “Get off the bench, son” as he pointed back at the house. At this point he locked eyes with Scott and placed a firm yet gentle grip on his shoulder.  
“I’ve never interfered in your love life before, correct?” Scott nodded as he looked slightly terrified. 

“Listen to me, kid…you will lose that gem for good if you continue with this play. You will lose her.” Scott had never seen Mike Babcock more serious than in that instant. He knew not to joke off the intensity of the moment. 

“Where’s this coming from, Babsy?”

“How long do you think she’s going to hold out for you? Why the hell you keep finding these little substitutes over and over again is beyond me! Do you actually think there is someone better suited for you out there, moron?” Scott was speechless as he stood frozen unable to look away.

“That thirst for another Olympics will never go away. Never. Why do you think I coach?!? But another medal won’t be worth losing her for. And you will, if you keep this up. I promise you that.” Mike placed his other hand on Scott’s other shoulder and said in measured words, “Do you trust my discernment, son?”

“More than anyone’s, Babsy! Look at what you’ve done with the Leafs-“

“She is too smart and has way too much integrity and self-respect to put up with this ‘we have a unique relationship’ bullshit for much longer. You fix this. One way or the other, sort this out. Are you hearing me?” Still looking terrified, Scott swallowed the massive lump in his throat trying, but failing to sound unscathed, 

“Yes…I’m hearing you.” 

“Good. Tell me one thing you’re going to do differently as of right now.” 

Scott was accustomed to Mike quasi-coaching him and Tessa with this technique, but he never expected that it would be applied like this. He was stunned by this whole discourse but if he was honest with himself, he knew he’d eventually have to face the thing that scared him the most…the prospect of losing her if he tried shifting their dynamic.  
Mike squeezed his shoulders as the pause extended. Scott knew to not keep the man waiting. After taking a deep breath and heavily exhaling, Scott surprised himself with what he said next.

 

Inside the Babcock's

Tessa had a hard time keeping her eyes away from the patio doors. She and Maureen were looking at some of the jewelry pieces that Tessa had brought with her. They were also thoroughly enjoying their wine. She tried to stay focused on her host and the pieces, but it proved to be challenging. At one point she saw Mike holding Scott by the shoulders and both looked incredibly serious.

“Maureen, what do you think’s going on out there?”

Maureen turned to look at the scene, then she leaned back in her chair and studied Tessa for what felt like hours, “Hmm…better question is, what do you think’s going on?” Maureen’s smile was gentle yet her eyes were resolute.

Tessa nervously laughed, “I haven’t the slightest clue” 

Maureen looked outside again seeing that the two men were in the same stance. She leaned toward Tessa and said, “When was the last time you saw Mike looking that intense?” 

“Well, when he gave us his pep talk in Sochi.” 

The older woman nodded,“Since there’s no games that you’re attending in the next few days, he’s probably talking about something of equal importance…what do you want them to be talking about, dear?” Tessa could see that the wine was starting to take effect on both of them. Maureen was usually more reserved.

“I really don’t know!” Tessa sighed.

“Like hell you don’t, honey. Just a side note, it’s worth it, the change. It’s worth every single bit of it.” 

Tessa looked confused and Maureen waved her hand dismissing her own comment, “Anyway, come help me pick out another bottle of vino. The EX is over and the night’s still young!” They laughed as they got up but Tessa was fixated on what exactly was the change that Maureen spoke of. 

After a few more glasses of wine and lots of laughs over stories Maureen told, the boys finally came in from the patio. 

“Did you have Scott out there re-doing the stonework or what? We thought you guys were going to set up camp!” 

“Tell me about it! Couldn’t get fanboy to stop askin’ every possible Leafs question that could be asked.” Mike sighed and gave Scott a subtle, knowing wink. 

“Sorry to break this party up but I’m not a young as I used to be. I can’t keep up with you animals! It’s 10:15 and I’m about to collapse!” said Scott in a weak attempt to sound normal. 

“Told you they’d be lightweights, honey!” Maureen called across the room. 

“Everyone knows I’m a lightweight, Mo! But yeah, time for me to hit the hay. I definitely overdid it on the fairway today!” Tessa laughed and was practically shouting at this point.

They said their goodbyes and hopped a cab to the hotel. It was evident that Tessa had more than her fair share of wine, based on her volume as she babbled to Scott about a new TV series she wanted to get into. Scott’s head was slightly buzzing, but the gravity of the dramatic shift in conversation with Babsy properly sobered him. 

Tessa plunked her head on his shoulder and yawned, “Soooo sleepy, Scotty. How ‘bout you?” Scott found himself struggling to find simple words to respond. Tessa turned to face him with a look of concern coupled with curiosity, “You okay, handsome?” He started to breathe a bit easier. She always called him handsome when she drank.

“Yeah! I’m beside you, aren’t I?!” She returned her head to his shoulder. 

“Hey Tess…can you bunk with me tonight?” 

Since they were kids they’ve always had an unspoken agreement that they’d sleep in the same bed if the other was feeling off – no questions asked. Despite what everyone else assumed, nothing had ever happened. Perhaps this was because they were so focused on the other person feeling anxious, scared or depressed that it was easier to ignore their own emotions and hormones. 

Tessa grabbed his hand, “You’ve got it.” 

In a lot of ways it was ironic that Tessa was at the root of his anxiety, yet having her stay with him was the only calming thing he knew. 

Scott was supposed to catch a flight to Winnipeg the following afternoon – it was booked weeks ago. He felt knots tightening within him as he contemplated what getting on that plane would ultimately mean.

Once they reached Scott’s room, Tessa threw on a tank top and sleeper shorts, and Scott went with boxers and an old Jay’s tee. Tessa effortlessly pulled her mahogany locks into a messy bun and she didn’t notice Scott staring at her spellbound across the room. As they were going through their routine of getting ready for bed, somehow Tessa still had so much to say and seemed pleasantly amused with herself. As always, Scott found this to be hilarious and adorable. He was relieved that in her tipsiness she didn’t notice how quiet he’d become or see that he was scared shitless. 

His relief dissipated as they brushed their teeth side by side and Tessa abruptly stopped in the middle of a sentence about a show.

“You’re pale! Oh my god, Scott – you’re almost as pale as me right now.” She held her hand against the side of his face and leaned toward the mirror in fascination which quickly transformed into concern. “Are you feeling alright?” she said as she automatically cupped his face with her hand.

“Oh yeah, I’m good. I guess I’ve been listening to all of your wear-sunblock-everyday encouragements.” He tried to joke it off but Tessa stared at him in the mirror seeing full well that Scott wouldn’t be bearing his burden with her tonight. 

Whenever he had a girlfriend, there would be these moments when she couldn’t access what was going through his head or heart. She knew the same was true when she had boyfriends, but that wasn’t nearly as often. She tried to accept that this was just the way it was and maybe it was a healthy boundary, but she loathed whatever “this” was.

Scott stared back at her seeing that she instantly saw through his bull. He reached up a hand and tenderly held hers against his face. For a brief moment he closed his eyes almost as if in a desperate prayer, now clutching on to her hand. 

After a few moments, he gently let go and dramatically yawned, “I’m about to pass right out. Time to hit the hay, T.” 

As he made his way to the bed, Tessa remained frozen in front of the mirror, stunned not knowing what to make of the moment. While her mind was yet again muddled trying to decipher what happened, her body beckoned her to sleep.

She uneasily slid into bed facing away from him yet, Scott’s hand instantly found hers.

“G’night, Tess” he said quietly. “G’night, buddy boy” Tessa slurred and started to mutter incoherently. Scott smiled as he watched his partner do her typical drunk sleep routine. As his mind raced with all of the decisions he needed to make, he was certain he heard Tessa say,

“What’s this change, Mo? You say I know but – what change?” Scott couldn’t figure out what she meant, but it made him uneasy. 

At that moment a phone started vibrating on the nightstand. He picked it up and it read, 

“Hey gorgeous. You up?” It was Tessa’s phone and Scott didn’t know who “B” was. He put the phone down and felt more petrified than ever before.


	2. Anguished Awakenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> T&S try making sense of waking up rattled the morning after dinner at the Babcocks'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may seem flat but things do pick up in the following chapters. Again, please pardon the awkward formatting.

Just before their next lift, Scott stretched out his hand and Tessa tried to grasp it. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t reach him. She tried skating as fast as she could yet he was always millimetres out of her grasp. 

“I’m here” he said with his steady eyes fixed on hers as she desperately extended her arm toward him.

She desperately pleaded, “Please, Scotty – slow down. I’m almost…please wait!“ her legs couldn't stroke fast enough and her small fingers reached out in vain. "Wait, Scott!"

And with an abrupt jolt, Tessa bolted awake in a cold sweat on the verge of hyperventilating. The clock read 2:05 AM and her head felt like it was in a vice. In spite of the hour and feeling hungover, she was glad to finally wake from the nightmare. 

As she slowly got her bearings, she turned and saw the moon had cast a steady stream of soft light on Scott’s eyes. He was out like a light lying on his back with his arm resting across his chest. Some things never change. 

Since Sochi, Tessa tried to make an effort not to over-analyze her interactions with and dreams about Scott. If anything, doing so only caused inner confusion and turmoil. Ever since their visit at the Babcocks’ hours before, she felt quite off-centre. 

Just inches away, she stared at her partner and her mind raced with possible topics he and Mike could have talked about earlier that night. There was only one thing that seemed like a logical answer to her…and it most likely wasn’t Tessa.

The thought of it caused a wave of nausea to sweep over her. For the umpteenth time this summer, Scott was jumping on a plane to see his girlfriend the next day. Tessa was used to Scott’s level of devotion to his girlfriends – she wouldn’t expect anything less. This time though, something deep within her was on high alert. What if this flight led to finally losing him for good? 

He’d been dating this most recent woman for quite a while, he actually invited her to tag along for a lot of their tour, she came to Scotland at the last minute and…there seemed to be absolutely nothing problematic in this relationship. Tessa even forced herself to treat her like gold in spite of her own feelings…Nausea was going to win this battle, so she bolted out of bed and thankfully made it to the bathroom in time. 

 

Hours Later

Scott opened his eyes to see that Tessa wasn’t there. He swung his feet out of bed and got up to see if she was in the bathroom but found it was empty. He glanced at the nightstand and saw that Tessa left a note that read, 

Feeling pretty gross. Went to find some Pepto'.  
Text me before you check out. 

Signed: The Lightweight

He hoped he’d be able to at least have breakfast with her like they usually did. Scott started to ponder if Tessa was brushing him off for a breakfast date, possibly with “B”. 

For almost twenty years he was always equally green with envy any time a guy expressed interest in her. He felt this way regardless of whether he had a girlfriend or not. Scott knew he had no valid right to feel that way, but nevertheless he was who he was.

“Get your shit together, Moir” he muttered to himself as he headed to the shower. He had a major task ahead of him and selfish jealousy wasn’t going to help him in any way. 

As he let the comforting flow of water cascade over him, he kept playing out the scenes that were going to unfold in the next 48 hours. As he thought about his next encounter with his girlfriend later that day, he kept having flashes of Tessa’s mesmerizing face. He shook his head, “Do right by her, you idiot!” he shouted to himself as he pounded the shower wall. 

After he got ready and packed, he texted that he’d meet Tess in the lobby in 20. Before heading down, he spontaneously dialed a number he wasn’t expecting to call.

“Hey mom.”

“Well hello, honey – what a nice surprise! How was the last show?” somehow hearing his mom’s voice caused Scott’s nerves to kick into high gear. His pause was clearly too long.

“What’s wrong, Scott?” his mother asked in a concerned yet commanding way. She was never one to dance around his issues.

“I uh…you know how I’m flying out to Winnipeg later today, right?”

“Yes what about it, dear?”

“…I’m um, going to be making a big change.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, I are – um, is Dad around? I might as well talk to the both of you about this.” 

With both of his parents on the phone he told them what he was planning to do. He knew them well enough to know that they wouldn’t weigh in with their opinions at this point. They were both very quiet after he gave them the rundown. As expected, his mom tried to mask that she was in tears so his dad spoke up and said,

“We love you and support you, son. Keep us posted okay?”

“Love you too, guys…listen, I’ve gotta run. Tess is expecting me in the lobby in a few minutes. Thanks for…everything. See you soon, bye.” As Scott ended the call, he realized that his eyes were closed and he had his hand over his heart. “What are you doing, Moir?!” he said to himself. 

He quickly grabbed his things and headed to the lobby. 

Scott spotted Tessa immediately once the elevator doors opened to the lobby. Her hair and outfit were phenomenal as usual, but she looked, off. She was curled up in one of the majestic lobby chairs. As he approached her, he saw that she was paler than normal and looked exhausted. Tessa smiled and said,

“Why the long face, Ace?”

“Still feeling pretty horrible are we?” he said gently as he laid the back of his hand on her forehead.

“No fever, just hungover.” Tessa groaned. Scott plunked himself in the chair next to her.

“Right, sorry I just…can I get you anything, T?”

“No thanks. I’ll be okay.” She turned and patted his opened hand, which instinctively clasped hers. In the same moment their eyes locked, neither able to break the gaze. 

Without clear explanation, these moments when time stood still, would catch them by surprise. As Scott gently squeezed her hand, Tessa broke their trance,

“So…ready for your flight later?” she said with the slightest hint of uneasiness. She let go of his hand, slowly stood and started to gather her things. Scott kept his eyes locked on her and didn’t say a word.

“Scott? Did you hear me?” said Tessa.

“…Yup. Same old flight, no big deal. Are you up to anything exciting today?” he replied. Now it was Tessa who was unnervingly quiet. She hated that she didn’t believe what he just said, but he just wasn’t convincing.

“…Just lunch with a friend then I’m heading home. On that note, I should head out.” She said with uncharacteristic flatness. 

Scott sprang to his feet and internally tried to disregard this mystery lunch she just mentioned. He stretched out his arms and embraced his partner.

“Thanks for an awesome run of shows, darlin’. Loved every second of it.” he murmured in her ear.

“Have a safe flight and good trip.” she replied. As they separated, she could have sworn she saw him quickly wipe a tear away. She didn’t have it in her to investigate.

“See you when you get back, Moir.” Tessa said as she headed toward the doors with a faint smile.

“You better believe you will, Virtch.” Scott said as he fought back tears and managed to keep them at bay. 

She kept looking back as she walked away and when she got to the doors, she stopped and looked in his direction. He smiled and waved. She bit her lip as she sadly gazed at him. Tessa caught herself and turned away to leave not knowing how significantly things were about to change with her best friend. Something inside of her most certainly felt dead – and there was nothing she could do about it.


	3. Inhale, exhale

Tessa slowly slid down the wall to the floor at the end of a brutal workout. Since she last saw Scott the day before, she had been doing everything imaginable to keep herself from thinking about the likely reality. She wasn’t due for a workout today but this kind of pain was a welcomed distraction from the agony she experienced at her core.  
In that moment sitting on the floor, she closed her eyes out of sheer exhaustion and was instantly flooded with an unwelcomed sense of fear and loss.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Tessa Virtue. You’ve got this…just breathe.” She whispered to herself as she tried to practice deep breathing. She knew she had to keep moving so she grabbed her gym bag and headed out to her car. 

Thankfully, there were tonnes of things she could keep busy with this afternoon. Tessa had been putting off responding to several texts of a persistent media guy she had met at an event in the spring. She was polite but tried to make it clear that she wasn’t interested at the time. He had the nerve to grab her phone and add his number with just his initial for a name. In spite of his bravado, she wasn’t raised to be rude so she tried thinking of how exactly to respond to him. She started to ask herself if she was falling into her unhealthy holding out pattern again. Holding out for a man who had no intention of being with her. Should she at least give this guy a chance?

Once sitting in her car she reached into her bag for her phone and realized she left it in the gym. As she ran inside, her trainer almost collided with her.

“I’m so sorry, Maria! Just forgot my-“ 

Maria held out Tessa’s phone and finished her sentence, “- Phone. No prob. Uh, Moir just texted me looking for you. He’s never done that before…everything alright?” said Maria.

Tessa felt numb. Without answering immediately, she glanced at her phone and saw that Scott had texted a few times during her workout, asking where she was and that they needed to meet ASAP…her nightmare was becoming all too real. Why was he back so early? She wasn’t ready to hear that the other part of her was getting married or moving in with someone else.

“Tessa!” said Maria as she placed her hand on Tessa’s back.

“Yeah…everything’s fine. Sorry, I’m just comatose from your workout, Maria.” she tried to lighten the mood but failed.

Maria looked down, slightly shook her head in disbelief, patted Tessa’s back then looked her square in the eyes. “Okay…well, as usual – you call me if you need to, deal?”

Tessa’s emotions overpowered her will and tears started to pour from her hypnotic eyes. Unable to speak, she nodded, attempted to smile and rushed outside. Maria watched her friend dash away in a frenzy, wishing she knew how to help but knowing this was part of the Virtue Moir saga that only they could figure out. 

Sitting in her car with her face in her hands weeping, Tessa kept telling herself to focus and “Just be the best friend”, whatever that meant. She took a deep breath, wiped her tears and picked up her phone and replied to Scott’s text, 

“No prob. Come to my place in an hour.” 

Even though she felt as though her life was about to be upturned before her eyes, she wanted time to call her sister and shower. She blasted her Positive Vibes playlist and sped home.

 

One Day Earlier – Winnipeg Airport

Once he got off the plane rather than heading to the exit, Scott stayed at his gate and gazed out the window. Even though he was certain about what he was about to do, he still felt like a disloyal asshole. 

Babsy was right, it was time for him to man up and make a decision. No more half-assing it. He kept thinking of what he must have put Tessa through with his confusing ways, and he wished he could deck himself squarely in the jaw for it. It was strange how he could feel so guilty yet hopeful at the same time. He even felt guilty about being hopeful.

All of his past relationships had followed the same pattern each and every time. He’d meet someone, put on the charm, be totally invested at first and on cloud nine. Then, things would fizzle out. There would also be more questions than he liked about his partner once the honeymoon was over…and then, they’d call it quits. He knew it was his own fault.

There was no way to fully predict the outcome this time around but one thing he was certain of, was that he was ready to go all in…sadly, even if he might lose his best friend and partner in the process. 

Scott tried to garner the confidence to believe that this wouldn’t be the thing to push Tessa away. She was always far more resilient than he was, he was certain of that.

He picked up his bag, headed to the airport’s exit and hailed a cab to go meet his girlfriend. “Here we go...just breathe.” he whispered to himself as the cab pulled away.


	4. Hanging By A Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has turned out to be a slow burn. Just trying to capture the complex nuances of realistic relationships.  
> Just one more chapter after this and there will be less angst, I promise.

As Tessa numbly navigated her way back home, she didn’t notice how sublime this early autumn day actually was. Normally, she would have been compelled to pull over and simply marvel at the sky’s perfect hue of blue, divine temperature and faint hint of fall in the air. She was blind to it all. 

In spite of her determination not to, she continued her deluge of tears.

Once she pulled into her driveway, she got out of her car and started to gather her things. The unexpected pressure of a hand on her shoulder caused her to scream and drop her bag, and its contents.

“Oh I’m so sorry to have frightened you, my dear!” said Tessa’s elderly neighbour, Anne, looking very concerned.

“No no, it’s okay. I’m just jumpy today. How are you, Anne?” 

The sweet older woman shared about the latest updates to her garden as Tessa crouched to the ground to gather her things and tuck them into her bag. 

Partway through her neighbour’s update, Tessa rose to her feet and she froze as she looked past Anne’s shoulder.

There he was, standing a few feet behind Anne looking the epitome of perfection. However instead of a smile, Scott held a troubled expression. Tessa made a point to keep her eyes glued on her neighbour.

“Good heavens! How did I not notice – Tessa, you’ve been crying! What’s wrong, sweetheart?” said Anne.

“Just my allergies acting up is all. They always make me look pretty bad!” Tessa lightly chuckled as she wiped her eyes. Scott frowned as he heard his partner lie through her teeth. No one had to tell him twice that her tears were due to her being in some sort of pain.

“You have allergies too? Golly, my grandson has the worst hayfever-“ Scott shifted his feet and gently cleared his throat at that moment. Anne turned around to see him smile kindly at her, then resume the same worried expression as he looked at Tessa. 

Anne knowingly looked at the both of them and started back to her yard as she said,

“Well, I better get back in time to Skype with my grandson…I hope those allergies clear up soon, sweetie.”

“Thanks so much, Anne.” Tessa said dazed.

Scott took a few cautious steps toward her and his frown deepened and eyes widened as he saw just how red and puffy her eyes were. 

Before he could comment, Tessa blurted out,

“Welcome back, Sco-Mo. Thought you weren’t due back for another couple of days. Also, didn’t we say we’d meet in an hour?” she said averting her eyes from his gaze and headed towards the front door.

“Oh my god, Tess – what’s going on? Why have you been crying?” he said as he followed her.

“Allergies, remember? Anyway, you’re unusually early.” She said as she unsuccessfully scrambled to find the right key for the door. 

He gently reached around her and wrapped his hand around her now shaking fingers that held the keys - and in a swift, delicate motion spun her around to face him.

“Hey…hey…” he whispered as he tried to catch her eyes,

“Just breathe.” He pressed his forehead to hers and Tessa instinctively leaned in and closed her eyes. She desperately tried to stop herself from engaging in this but, muscle memory can’t be helped.

They started to sync their breathing and Scott reached up a hand and began to tenderly run his fingers through her hair. She instantly felt something deep in her abdomen leap and this prompted her to suddenly step back and turn away from him. 

“So uh, why did you come back early again?” she said in a casual tone as she finally managed to open the door.

Scott’s heart recoiled as he realized Tessa was walling him out. He sensed this was going to go far worse that he thought. He couldn’t figure out what was going on with her. She didn’t seem angry at him but definitely out of reach. Regardless, he knew he had to press on so he followed her inside. Both were clearly out of sorts. 

Tessa dumped her bag down, wandered into the kitchen and with her back to him asked,

“What can I get you to drink-?“

“- I really need to talk to you about something, Tess. Can we stop and just sit down for a moment? It can’t wait…please.” Scott pleaded with a strained voice which completely weakened Tessa’s resolve. 

With her back still facing him, she looked up feeling the hot streams of tears glide down her face. She prayed that’d she’d miraculously get through this conversation.

“Of course, come and make yourself at home.” she said with a smile and tear-stained cheeks. She sat at the far end of her couch while Scott stood opposite of her looking shell-shocked.

“Before I get into why I’m here…I’ve got to say that seeing you like this and not knowing what’s wrong, is ripping me apart, T. It’s obvious you’re not up for talking about it but…” his voice started to crack,

“I just want you to know, that I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry that you’re hurting and that I’ve made our relationship so fucked up that you aren’t able to talk to me about whatever’s causing this in you.” Scott blurted as his eyes never once strayed from Tessa’s.

“You haven’t fucked anything up. I’m the one who’s sorry – I’m just off today, probably hormones or-“

“- Let’s not start lying to ourselves or each other.” Scott interjected. “It’s important for me to own up to my actions, Tessa. Seriously, seeing you trying to force a smile right now isn’t helping either of us.” 

Tessa strangely felt slightly lighter as the attempt of a smile fell from her face.

Scott started to pace as he continued, “First, I should mention that a lot of this might not make a lot of sense – I haven’t slept since, well, since I last saw you.”

“What?!? You must be so exhausted. Can I get you-“

“-As always, you’re putting my needs before yours. See, I’ve been thinking a lot about our dynamic since Sochi especially. And you have constantly done that - I've let you do that and never bothered to change that.” he said holding his palm to his heart.

Tessa sat up straighter ready to refute him but he simply continued,

“This isn’t up for debate, Tess. It’s not fair, it’s not right and I hope you can forgive me for it.” 

Tessa felt like she was in a confused haze at this point. While it was nice to hear him sincerely say these words, they felt like salt in the wound that she felt was coming just around the corner.

“…Forgiven…so there’s something you wanted to tell me about your trip. Go ahead.” she said keeping her eyes away from him. Scott stopped pacing and cautiously sat on the other end of the couch.

“Right, my trip…” he said quietly. 

He unconsciously chewed one of his nails as he tried to organize everything he wanted to say. So far, he felt like everything was quickly falling apart at the seams. Nevertheless, he owed it to her to push through this scattered mess he’d made. 

Even though they were sitting a few feet away from one another, they felt worlds apart.


	5. All Bare

Tessa couldn’t take much more of this so she thought she’d make it easier on the both of them. In the most cheerful voice she could muster she said,

“I take it that congratulations are in order!” Tessa said as she finally fixed her eyes on him again. Scott furrowed his brow as he was thrown by her words and increasingly felt the effects of sleep-deprivation by the second.

“What? Okay, get to the point Moir – tell her the three points-“ he muttered giving himself a pep talk.

“-You don’t have to give me three points, Scotty. Congrats, I’m happy for you!” Tessa interjected. 

Scott put his face in his hands shaking his head as if to revive himself.

“Don’t know why you’re saying that, but I need to hit these last two points. Please, T.” he begged. 

Tessa hated seeing him this desperate so she determined to ride this out in spite of her excruciating torment. She nodded and let him continue.

“Okay, number two. There have been so many times during performances, practices and just…life, when I’ve said and done some intense, confusing things to you – all while I was dating someone else and Tess…even though everything I did and said was 100% real, it was shitty for me to act on it…” his chin trembled and tears fell as he searched her eyes for signs of hope.

“…sweet, loyal Tess. That was so unfair of me and probably infuriating to you. I’ve been a complete asshole towards you.”  
Scott stood up and started pacing frantically as his tears refused to stop.

“Please don’t do this, Scott.” pleaded Tessa.

“No. No. I’ve thought about this and I thought to myself, how would I react if it was another guy who pulled the same shit with you? No question about it. I’d pulverize him! That’s what I’ve been to you, and I’m…” he choked on a sob at that moment as he heard himself making this revelation to her face.

Regaining some composure he exhaled and forced himself to fix his eyes on her in spite of his shame,

“…I’m sorrier than words can possibly say. That may not fix anything here, but it’s the truth, Tess.” 

Scott stopped pacing and now stood across the room facing away from her with his hands on his hips looking down. Tessa had become alarmingly quiet.

“It’d be helpful if you’d respond in any way here.” he said still facing away from her. 

In the quietest voice, he could have sworn he heard her say, 

“It’s okay if you guys are moving forward, you know.” Scott slowly turned around with a shocked expression.

“What?!” he exclaimed.

Tessa took a deep breath and stood up saying,

“I mean, I’m happy for you that you’re…moving in together or getting…you and I will always be okay. I thought this would be a lot harder to hear but…we’re good. This is good, Scotty…you’re my best friend and –“

“-Tessa Virtue! You seriously thought, that…I have no clue where you got the idea that I’m ‘moving in with’ or ‘getting’ anything else to anyone! Not. True.” He said passionately as he headed toward her.

“I thought you just came back from Winnipeg.” Tessa said as she hesitantly tried to figure how to keep her heart rate in check and make sense of what she was hearing. She started to wander over to her kitchen island as Scott followed her.

He sighed, “I did…ask me why I flew out there, Tess.” 

She turned and found he was only a foot away from her with tears still brimming in the corners of his eyes, looking straight into her soul.  
Still in shock, she said nothing. Scott took a step toward her barely leaving inches between them. 

“Ask me why, Tessa” he said in what seemed like something between a whisper and growl. Somehow she lost her footing, almost falling back before he instinctively caught her by both elbows, helping her to regain her stance…even off the ice he never let her fall. Oh how she hated how much she was consumed by him in this moment. 

Tessa was now leaning back against the counter and realized she was literally backed into a corner. Scott had gripped the counter on both sides of her. Being in this close proximity, both found themselves breathing as if they had just finished a run-through.

After what felt like hours but was only seconds, in a questionably audible voice Tessa whispered,

“…Why?”

Scott swallowed then said, “Because you course through every one of my veins and it was time for me to be honest about it.” Tessa looked dumbfounded so he sighed and continued on by saying,

“I mean, I went there to end things – well, break-up in person and I did. This time was different though…this time, I finally admitted to myself and to her that, that relationship – and every other that I tried to distract myself with, would never water down what I feel for you.” Tessa gasped.

“Wh-what are you saying?” she stammered.

“Tess, please don’t freak out. The last thing I want is to push you away by saying this to you” Scott said in desperation. 

Tessa hadn’t seen him look this frightened in years. She closed her eyes and gently placed her trembling hand on his chest above his heart. ‘Together, no matter what’ she reminded herself inwardly.

“You won’t push me away… It’s okay.” she said with her eyes still closed.

“I broke up this time because I knew in my heart…I knew that I’ve always held you high above anyone else I’ve ever been with or anyone else I could possibly be with. This isn’t about me confusing best friend feelings for something more, Tess. The ‘something more’ has always been there for me, I’m just lucky that the best friend part is an added bonus” 

Tessa felt both of his strong hands envelope her hand that rested on his chest.

“…Will you please look at me? I need to see you. I need you to see me too.” She opened her eyes and Scott’s face lit up with a smile.

“There!” he said softly. Apprehension returned to his face after a pause and he said, 

“The bottom line here, Tess, is that I’ve been wrong all these years when I’ve said that we have a complicated relationship.”

“You’ve been wrong?” she repeated.

“Yeah, it’s actually quite simple. I love you more than anyone in the universe – ‘in love with you’ love you, and I’ve been scared shitless to admit that to you. I thought that saying that would fuck up our relationship and partnership but ironically, I did a great job of that by trying to have my cake and eat it too…” he said as he held her hand tighter to his chest.

“Telling you this isn’t my way of trying to force you to make a decision about me or ‘us’. Whatever you want or don’t want is fine by me. And I’m not just saying that…it’s cool that you’re seeing someone and I swear to you, I won’t interfere this time around I just-“

“-Seeing someone?” she asked quizzically.

“I know, I know. I have a horrible track record for being possessive but I swear to you I’ll be mature about-“

“-I’m not seeing anyone, Scott.” she said as she felt a genuine smile radiate across her face for the first time in days. Scott mirrored back a similar smile and freed a hand to languidly tuck stray, raven wisps behind her ear. In the midst of the joy and relief he felt, he was also overcome with tears.

“You’re not?” he creaked.

“I’m not.” she slowly shook her head as she wiped tears from his cheeks with her other hand.

“Why the tears, Handsome?”

“You have no clue how terrified I was of losing you entirely.” Scott sighed as he gazed at her in pure awe.

“You’ll never believe this, but I actually talked to both my parents about this – ‘bout how I feel about you. Pretty sure mum was bawling her eyes out.” he said. 

All of this felt surreal to Tessa. She had spent so much time trying to ready herself for heartache, but this…how could she possibly be awake? 

Scott broke the silence, 

“Listen, I really meant what I said. You don’t have to say anything or make any decisions or declarations. This is about you knowing the truth – no more games on my end, ‘kay?” he said as he slowly leaned forward pressing his forehead to hers.

“I thought I’d already lost you-” she cried.

“-Never.” Scott whispered. 

Tessa placed her hands on each side of his face and with certainty said,

“I love you – ‘in love with you’ love you too.” she said as they both chuckled.

“Just so you know this isn’t an experiment for me, Tess. There’s no question that I’m all in - Come. What. May.” Scott pulled her flush against him and her arms found their place around his neck.

“Me too…Come. What. May.” Tessa whispered as she ran her fingers through his chestnut hair pulling him closer until their lips made contact. 

This kiss began tenderly then what felt like an electrical current seared between them, eliciting a low groan from Scott which only intensified the moment. At one point Tessa started to feel dizzy so she pulled away for air, gazing into his magnetic golden brown eyes. After taking a deep breath she said,

“So...What exactly are we?” she asked with some hesitation.

“Well, you’re the love of my life and I want to spend as much time with you as humanly possible - or as long as you’ll let me. So, ‘dating’ seems too weak a term.” Scott murmured.

“Far too weak.” Tessa replied.

“We both know we’re endgame, but don’t worry – I won’t drop to my knee today.” he said but saw her smile ever so slightly diminish.

“Not today doesn’t mean not ever – trust me, it’s coming…Let’s enjoy being Tessa and Scott 2.0 for at least a little while, yeah?” he said and she affirmed by softly kissing him for a moment.

“Tess, I’m wondering if sharing this with just family and inner, inner circle might be a good way to start. Most of the country thinks we’re already together but-“

“-This is for us, no one else.” she completed his thought and he beamed in the comfort of being completely known by his soulmate.

Scott’s blinks became longer and Tessa continued to run her fingers through his hair and said,

“Maybe it’s time for bed, Handsome.”

He raised his eyebrows and said, “I thought you’d never ask!”

With a smile, she said, “I mean it’s time for you to finally sleep.”

“The sad thing is that’s what I meant too. I can’t remember when I was this tired.” he said fighting off the urge to yawn. 

Tessa gently pushed him toward the stairs to her bedroom. Before he ascended, he reached a hand back to her and said,

“Lay with me, for just a little while?” 

She nodded as she latched her fingers with his and they scaled the stairs…together.


End file.
